It’s a fine line between love and hate when you choose to ride with your spouse. Some absolutely will not ride with their other half, claiming their away time in the name of sanity. Others relish the time they get to spend riding with their partner in a sport, sharing a passion they both love. Is it easy? Ummmm, no. Nothing can trigger a short-tempered outburst quicker than someone you are most intimate with. I have included a list of a few dos and don’ts you may want to consider when choosing to ride with the love of your life.
Guys, be encouraging
Understand if you are just getting your sweetheart out on a sled for the first time, it may be a rodeo of stucks and tree fondling. This is a natural progression. Remember your first introduction to riding? Stucks and tree wells are all a part of the learning experience.
Ride with the right people
Don’t take her out with an unsuspecting, accomplished group of riders for her first time out. Nothing will break her self-confidence faster than plunging her into a situation where she is obviously the weakest and expect it to end up “fun.” If it is her first time out, go with others who will act as cheerleaders. She needs all the supportive peeps you can muster. It may not be the greatest ride of your life, but guaranteed it will be one that will have a lasting memory. If your sweetheart is nervous or intimidated, other women who are supportive and lighthearted will help to wash away her nervousness. Prepare in advance by reaching out to other women riders so that this first time can be a success.
Use your happy voice
Yelling—yeah, not so cool. It absolutely crushes self-esteem and the ability to learn. I don’t care how many bumpers you lift, or how deep that stuck is, there is to be absolutely no yelling.
My husband was once dubbed a very creative and descriptive pet name by our riding buddy, Daine, when I flubbed up a climb and nailed the one and only tree going up a short, steep pull. While he was explaining to me what I did wrong at great volume, our buddies looked down the chute and said, “Dude, are you seriously yelling? Look where she is.”
That kind of changed the whole dynamics of our riding experiences together. He realized that he was indeed harder on me than any other man in our group who got epically stuck, crashed or rolled. When it was pointed out to him that his wife was climbing and shredding where some men couldn’t make it, he gained a whole other level of respect for my efforts—which helped me to learn faster, and with more confidence.
Be patient
Don’t be upset if she runs you or your friends over—there is an art to throttle control. Most likely you have been telling her to lay the hammer down—to stop being such a wimp with the throttle. There will be times that she’ll say, “Baah, I can do this,” and then lay so hard on that throttle without any control, you will be a mere speed bump in her shred-schooling experience. Turn that frown upside down big guy; it takes a lot of practice to master this whole throttle control thing.
Let her build self-esteem
Remember that your love for your partner will mess with your mind and cause you great distress when your little shredding sweetie gets herself in a pickle. Nothing is more terrifying than witnessing the love of your life, rolling, crashing and being tossed over the bars of her sled. Treat her as you would one of your buds. You know she’ll be OK because before you left the house, you made sure she had the proper protective gear—such as knee pads, a chest protector and a well-fitting helmet. You will feel complete terror when she rolls, but take a deep breath, dust her off and keep on keepin’ on. She needs those crashes and burns to boost confidence.
One day, when I was learning, my husband let me ride his turboed M8 Cat. I forgot that I didn’t quite have a huge arsenal of skills beneath my belt and cockiness got the better of me. I was trying to wrangle some sort of sneaky sidehill gymnastic move on an incredibly steep slope that bit me right in the butt. My throttle hand slipped off the sled when I went to yank it over, causing the most lovely succession of somersaults and tumbles with the sled and I rollin’, rollin’, rollin’. My husband, who was filming me all the while, was losing his mind thinking, “My wife, my sled. My wife, my sled!” Yup, just a wee bit tense. Our riding buddies, Daine and Dean, came to my rescue, laughing while they plucked me out of the snow. It took a co-ordinated effort to get me going back down without losing the sled, but we did it. I was rattled but the best thing my husband could have done was to make light of it—the whole no-big-deal kind of factor to keep my self-esteem up. But instead, he let ’er rip on me. I tried to get my head back into riding, but I was so crushed and flustered that my very next move was a well-executed lawn dart off a jump. We all decided that it was time to pack it in for the day.
Now if we fast forward two years—my husband is used to my slednastics. He moseys over to my crash site, laughs, picks me up and dusts me off. Knowing that I won’t break and understanding how much self-esteem plays with my mind, he is way more peaceful and relaxed riding with me now. There is no more yelling—and realistic expectations help us to ride like best friends. I am so incredibly thankful for that.
Pick the proper sled and riding terrain
Don’t put your wife on the machine with the least amount of track and power because she is a girl. This is quite possibly the worst thing many men do. The dudes are out shredding on their turboed Cats and Yammies while the newest rider is struggling to go 10 feet on their 550 fan-cooled sled. Give her a fighting chance; set her up with a good machine. If you don’t have one, ask a friend or visit your local dealership. Also, soften up her suspension and her handlebar height to suit her body type. The suspension for a 6’5” 220-pound man isn’t exactly suited for a 5’3” lightweight woman.
Try to choose terrain that will boost her confidence. Gruelling tree riding, steep climbs and tricky sidehills where she could fall off the face of the earth probably aren’t the best choices for a rider’s first time—be it a man or a woman.
The benefits of having your wife by your side:
1. You never have to look for a riding buddy to go with. Spur-of-the-moment trips can fly because you are both ready to go anytime.
2. If she loves riding, she’ll never whine about the time you spend sledding. It will be quite the opposite—she’ll be anticipating the next shred session as much as you.
3. If you have a riding group that includes people who are of the same calibre as your wife then your life as a hardcore, man rider are not over. My husband and I sometimes split up during our ride based upon experience and skill level. Never leave her by herself sitting in a snowbank but if you leave her for a short time to enjoy shredding with people who are the same level as her, it will boost her confidence far more than trying to drag her along the incredible journey.
4. Sometimes the unexpected perks of having your wife along outweigh the extra work that is required along the way. I pack a pretty mean muff pot (which is a device made of tin that you secure on your pipe that cooks meals for you while you ride) as well as a main course, dessert, arnica cream for bumps and bruises, energy-boosting bars and other tidbits to make our day pretty darn enjoyable. I’m also the one who checks the batteries and pressure gauges on our avalanche packs.
Lessons for the ladies
1. There is no crying in sledding. Your feelings may get hurt from time to time, you may get frustrated and it may feel like you can’t do it. Turn that frown upside down, put your big girl panties on and keep on keepin’ on. It’s all a part of sledding.
2. Dress appropriately. Even if this is your first date and you’re trying to impress your dude by being the cutest little snow bunny out there, you’ll freeze your butt off if you don’t dress for the weather. Put those Hello Kitty mittens away and get some mountain gear on because your survival may depend on it. If you don’t have the gear, then borrow it. You will need a base layer, mid layer and an outer shell. Warm waterproof boots and all of the gear you need to survive should be with you at all times.
3. Get your inner honey badger on, and know you can do it. The honey badger doesn’t care—she just bites the head right off that snake. You need to be tough and you need to be smart. You can do this—it just takes practice and the "grrr" factor of the honey badger. Never sit in the snow bank and say, “I can’t.” You can and will.
4. Learn how to get unstuck by yourself. We, as women, can roll our machine over by ourselves. Much of the time that is all I need to do to get myself out.
Start by stomping out the side of your sled that you plan on rolling towards. Do an assessment and look for things that may hold your sled down, like branches, then clear the way all around. Stick one foot on the running board and use your handlebars as leverage to get the first momentum rolling. Give it a tug and find a rhythm when you’re rocking the sled back and forth. Sometimes I don’t need to do a complete rollover, I simply need to get it out of the rut that it is in, and while the sled is on its side, I’ll fill in the trench underneath the sled. There are many nifty tools besides a shovel that help in situations like this. I sew straps made of tether material with loops on each end. They come in handy when getting unstuck. They are also handy for lifting back bumpers (with other people) or for doing a ski pull.
Never sit idly by when you or anyone else is stuck. Dig in and help out. It’s all a part of sledding.
5. Try to prevent your stucks. If you have lost your momentum and you feel yourself trapped in a rut, don’t goose ’er after the fact and dig your track to China. Momentum is your friend if going up a hill—even if it seems tiny. Don’t park your sled facing uphill; you’ll get stuck. If you look at it, you’ll hit it, so don’t look at the tree that you don’t want to hit. Spring snow can make you feel like a hero but remember, what goes up must come down. In spring snow, it comes down fast and out of control. Keep that in mind on those days you ride hero snow.
6. Learn how to change your own belt, gas up your sled and check your oil. Your husband isn’t your daddy, and it isn’t his job to maintain your ride. You’re one of the shredders out there so maintain your ride. The more you know about your machine, the safer you’ll be.
Rich rewards
Have fun. At the end of the day, I am so thankful for my husband and all that he has taught me. As we were riding back from Meadow Mountain near Kaslo, B.C., one day, the amount of peace and love within our truck gave me goosebumps. Holding hands, we decided that whenever we are at odds or irritated with one another, we’ll remember how we felt at that exact moment. We were completely exhausted, content and, above all else, incredibly thankful that we had spent that day shredding with our best friend.
